"When you have everything in life you don’t have time to think for yourself. 
When you don’t have anything to do those little things that you had long forgotten just resurfaces". 


I am kind of discontented with the way my life is stirring these days. But I am getting in touch little things that I always loved. And kind of enjoying this journey towards “soul realization”.

Walking down the street today I caught a glimpse of the Plumeria tree in front of my grandmother’s house. In an instance the memories of my childhood seemed to engulf me. As a child I had always loved playing under this tree, I would collect the dried up flowers and keep feeling its fragrance. It had kind of a strong scent but,I had fallen in love with it the moment I had realized about its existence. So essentially I loved it.But with time I had basically forgotten about my fascination for these flowers or may be getting a degree,the dream of making it big , work had enslaved me ! Millions of time I would have passed by the tree but never had been conscious of its presence in all these years. Today One sight was enough to bring back reminiscences of bruised knees, the carefree days, and the giggling me.I used to be so happy those days! 

A flower had so much to speak ,so many memories to convey to me .Even for an instance it made me happy and I am very happy because I was reintroduced to a part of me today.
Time will again move on I will start working have a family ,and this charm of Plumeria will be again wrapped up with other thoughts but I am gratified to the lovely Plumeria.

For the calmness that it got to me today even though it was for a brief moment.

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Life was turning out to be so mundane with its routine, I was grilled with work. Preoccupied with work I dropped in to leave our clothes at the sole ironing man who was working on Independence Day in the vicinity. Flamboyantly I order him to get the clothes ironed at the earliest had the plea to catch the train.

He coughed and looked at me”Your generation is always in a hurry .Why don’t you people get your work done before hand? Always this last minute work and you carry the stress on your shoulder".

I got down from the vehicle walked up to him “ mausa  ! You don’t even know me and still you just share this free piece of advice.” I mutter in a tone tinged with anger.

He scoffs aren’t you Mishra babu’s granddaughter? I know you since you were an infant! Your grandmother takes this road to the temple everyday I have existed long before you had an existence in this world. Known your family since last forty years, time has changed you people don’t understand the value of human beings. I have seen you passing by many a times on this road, you moved on from school uniforms to sarees  isn’t that enough time to know you my child?

 I smile, lower my eyes in embarrassment and say yes, that’s a time long enough! With this initial degree of warmth that I felt from this man I stood there to see him at work. Rugged with age a thin body of hanging   flesh . I asked him, could I take a picture of you please, he coughed why my picture I am no celebrity ,I consoled him I work for the newspaper he smiled  I have one leg in graveyard already  what would anyone do with my picture ? I click a picture in an instant, more than anything the thought of being acknowledged as someone, being treated with warmth without any selfish motive moved me! 

We have people around us with whom we share space for hours but they move away without acknowledging us and we have people to whom we are “Someone” but we don’t have even minutes for them. 

That’s us we have no time to stand, stare and spare time for people !

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My BP 

One of my first dreams always revolved around making my Bp (My sister and I lovingly call our  dad BP) proud. I would walk beside him and ask him so many questions .To my inquisitive questions he always had an answer. So I grew up with the feeling my BP just knows everything. It began with questions pertaining to the cosmos and came down to me as an individual.”Bp how does the aero plane fly so high?”…”Bp I wanna see the world.”Bp …why aren’t things working out in my life? …To all my thousands of questions his only answer would be “Don’t worry things are going to be fine “.So would be the things fine after some time as my Bp always said! Thus he has always been my hero. 

Nights I would be shivering with fever and there would be my BP sitting by my side …taking the temperature.Touching my forehead! How heavenly it felt when he chanted the “Hanuman chalisa” next to me… and I would pass into this calm sleep …But BP would just be there...as always waiting when I would be fine and giggle around the house! People say I am …spoilt and the reason is my father, he would let me do anything …It really wouldn’t matter to him if I slept till 11 in the morning...If I didn’t learn how to cook...what mattered to him was the fact that I was happy!..Living my life the way I wanted. He would always take pride in my achievements, break down in my pain, get concerned when I returned home late, and pamper me with his culinary skills!( I love his aloo curry and chili chicken no one in the world can cook it better than him. )
Having him as a father is the best beginning that I would ever have had..!..He gave me my wings and taught me to fly…He gave me my dreams …and showed me the way to fulfill it...Love you Bp..You are my angel…” .You mean the world to me! You always stood by my decisions even when I didn’t make it easy for you...I am not as good with words as You…But...I just take this opportunity to Thank you..For being there …always! 

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I am a self-confessed shopaholic...Well ya I kind of...I feel the same sense of craving that Rebecca
Bloomwood does {in the shopaholic series} aaah how I sometimes feel if the character existed in reality we both would surely be like soul sisters! I know such term doesn’t exist but when it’s my blogging world I am at liberty to call it anything. One thing that is bugging me lately is my craving for clothes…am not a girl with the best figure and looks but still I want to always be upfront as far as fashion is concerned. Well to come back to my shopping thoughts I am really worried about my habits becoz I really can’t manage my finances {Though being a student I still survive on my parents money..:P I wish could continue doing that :D...} But I am essentially worried how I am going to manage my life!

And all my money goes into these clothes, shoes, accessories .Well I do spend on other things as well. But the main source of spending goes into the shopping binge. It’s a weird kind of obsession I know but I know I am a shopaholic .And identification is the first source of problem solving isn’t it. So somewhere down the line I can {which I seriously doubt} manage my money!



But being a girl I still believe Shopping is my first and foremost Right {cant they just make it a human right he he …} I start of with the thought not to actually spend any money …but the moment I see the word Sale …its just like a burst of the hormones and I dive into the shop .Though reminding myself thousands time that I am just browsing …and not a penny walks out of my purse. Sucks but …how can they have this beautiful skirt for just 10 pounds {Omg …Omg …Help me …I should have it!} to reassure myself I immediately convert it into Indian currency {and I always convert it with the lowest rate he he }..just to restore confidence on myself that I am not spending any money its just a basic necessity didn’t I actually need it for some presentation that I had two months later…Ya I do need it {I swear I do} What if I cant have time to come back and shop again {A True visionary of future and my mama thinks I don’t think about my future}.


So I walk out of the shop happily on getting that skirt {But I cant have control over my spending}.I loose again !!!
The problem {See I know I have this psychological disorder not literally} is slowly growing inside me the other day I was there two hours before the shops had actually opened { a true shopper indeed}. It was freezing cold in Oxford Street and I drank four cups of Starbucks’ hot chocolate {Hmmm I luv it} before the shops actually opened. So up and down window shopping and drinking coffee {d reason for all my baby fat} till the shops opened. See this thing is slowly getting me….so I should quit shopping for some time! {Well I am trying doesn’t that mean I am putting in effort}

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Believe is a strong word in itself however hard you try you cant garner the strength to believe in your dreams, your ways and life !
 Because the day you start believing yourself you learn to face the atrocities within the world but you let yourself believe what your peers,your parents,your love thinks about you rather than your own intuitions.

I believe Im the personification of God's Perfect One!
Not exactly but if I don't believe in myself ...who would ?;)

Who would believe I can be the reality of my dreams?

Who would believe in my immense potentials to change the world ?

Who would believe I can be uniquely Me?

Therefore just believe and half of your dreams are reality !

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